Indeed, when he first heard the footsteps, he tensed, wondering if he'd even have to defend himself from the Flaming Fist. But then he heard Minsc's voice say, "Boo says he can smell him in there, and these rocks look like they've been disturbed. I'll lift this, and stay out here. I fear there are people here who might try to kick his butt, so I'll kick their butts if they come along."
Wow. Astarion honestly couldn't help but feel touched.
As he listened to Jaheira and Shadowheart thank him, he pulled himself up, and tried to make himself look presentable. He'd taken most of his armor off, but his current clothes were a mess, and his hair was even worse after a day and a half of neglect. Finding the water and cloth he couldn't even remember grabbing right now, he tried to dab at his face.
Both women knew him too, well, however, for Astarion to even hope to convince them he was all right.
"We've been missing you," Jaheira called out to him, almost the moment they were in each other's sights, in a rather cross voice. "You gave us a scare, running off like that. We could've tried to throw a blanket or a barrel over you or something."
If they'd done so, Astarion would've had the most humiliating breakdown of his life in front of all of them. He wasn't sorry for avoiding that.
Shadowheart's expression, as the two of them walked over to where he was sitting, was gentler. "It might interest you to know," she said, "that Karlach is going to live after all. Her heart started giving out almost right after you left, but Wyll convinced her to go back to Avernus, with him going with her. We all had to charge back to that shop where that woman Helsik had closed up her portal, and Sara might have held her at knifepoint to force her to open up another one. Not to the House of Hope, unfortunately; she did a cheaper, quicker one, and we're not even sure where she sent them. We just have to hope they'll be all right."
If the sun had taken just a little longer to make its presence known, Astarion might have been the one doing the whole holding at knifepoint, though he was sure Sara had done an excellent job there. He was genuinely deeply glad and relieved to hear Karlach wasn't going to die, but it would've taken more than he had in him at the moment to say so.
Instead he asked, "Are you going to tell the others you found me?"
"Not if you really don't want us to," shrugged Jaheira. "If they don't find your burnt body on the streets, they'll probably ultimately figure you can take care of yourself. That's not even why I came here. I have a proposition for you."
"Really?" He aimed for his normal skeptical tone. He didn't quite hit it.
"It's a very general one right now," she said, "and I don't even quite know how much I-or Minsc-will need you yet. But I'm pretty sure in the coming months of putting this city back together, and him doing who knows what with the Guild against the Zhentarim, there'll be times where we'll be able to use someone with your skillset carrying out violent tasks you'll probably even enjoy doing. Not that he'll admit it, of course, so I'll be the one hiring you to help him. Give me a month or so, and I can pay you pretty well for it. I might even let you feed on me beforehand on occasion, for missions in the city if they're important enough."
It was a very good offer, as she no doubt knew. And it wasn't like he had any better ideas at the moment. He'd thought vaguely of following his siblings into the Underdark, and perhaps at some point in the future he would go to try to find out how they were all doing. But when he knew how unwelcome a sight he'd be to so many of the spawn down there, it might be just as well to wait a while, until he was truly ready to face them.
"All right," he said. "I can't promise I'll always be in the city, but I don't think I'll go that far from it either, so I'll likely be on hand on at least a few such occasions when you want me."
"Good." She leaned down and offered her hand, and he reached up and shook it. "Until then, take care. You've got people who genuinely care about you now. Try not to forget that."
When he didn't have an immediate reply for that, she turned and left. Shadowheart, on the other hand, sat down next to him, apparently not leaving yet. "Are you really sure you don't want us to tell the others we saw you? We can just say we did so briefly, and you looked all right. You know they'd take comfort even from that."
Astarion did know that. Especially given how much Sara and Halsin were both so inclined to care about everybody.
He'd had a lot of anger at the former at certain points in time, the last two days. If it wasn't for her, he'd thought, he wouldn't have had to flee the sun. He'd now be sitting, comfortable and powerful, in that old castle, instead of hiding in a ruined building. But ultimately, he knew, he'd be no happier there, all alone, knowing the only people who'd ever cared about him wanted nothing to do with him anymore-because he knew well they wouldn't have, had he gone down that route. She'd been right that day, when she'd seen through him, seen all the pain and fear that had been driving him, and said simple words that had pierced straight through all of that, made him see what he truly wanted, and gotten him to walk away from that chance.
It was odd, to know he'd chosen his current misery, and to still, in the end, not be sorry he'd chosen it. Rather depressing, of course. But still a little freeing.
But he still didn't want her or Halsin to see him like this. They'd feel so much pain, and then they'd want to help, and there really wasn't much either of them could do. And the idea of Gale seeing him and pitying him was even worse.
"If you do," he said, "try not to tell them where you saw me. I really don't want them to find me right now."
"I see," said Shadowheart. "Are you upset that I'm seeing you like this?"
"Not as much." Especially not when he had quickly grasped the significance of Wyll and Karlach finding their future together, and right after Lae'zel had literally flown away from her like that. "After all, it's the two of us, isn't it? The ones who've been left alone."
"It has," she said, and her voice sounded so small, then, betraying how lost she, too, felt right now. She had plans, he knew, a little more concrete than his, but not the kind to tell her where she was going the next day, or the next week.
"Lae'zel did want to apologize to you for one thing," she said, "though I don't think she knew how to. She really was sorry she treated you so callously that night, after the two of you had sex. She honestly didn't think you'd care, at the time. None of us had any idea."
"So she did tell you about that." He supposed it made sense, even though he was pretty sure neither of them had told anyone else about that night otherwise. "If you ever do visit her, or she visits you, you can tell her I don't blame her for anything. As you said, she couldn't have known." He'd talked to Sara, before then, after that meeting with that drow woman, but he knew well she'd told noone what he'd said, not even Gale.
Astarion still didn't know if that had been the right choice, to say yes that night, when he'd known by then it wouldn't change Lae'zel's behavior towards him any. That had, in fact, been why he'd said yes. He could know he wasn't doing it for his own or anyone else's gain, but for himself, and for his own pleasure. He'd wanted to try that. He hadn't really liked how it had ended, what her pulling away like that had made him think of, but he'd genuinely enjoyed it otherwise, at least.
And in any case, it had been a choice. Just the act of making it had still felt like a start of reclaiming himself, claiming his new freedom.
They could hear Jaheira and Minsc talking; it sounded like they might remain there a little longer yet. The two of them sat together in silence. They didn't even have anything else to talk about, but nor did they need to. It was enough for both of them, for just a few minutes more, to not be alone.
When it sounded like the conversation outside was winding down, Shadowheart said, "You know what? I know you probably haven't drunk anything these past two days, not even any animal blood. If you want to, one for the road?" And she tilted her neck, to bare it.
And not even because she would be expecting to gain anything from it, the way Sara always had when she'd let him do this, and Jaheira would if she ever did. It was purely an act of kindness on her part. Possibly the biggest simple act of kindness anyone had ever bestowed upon him.
He couldn't deny it warmed his heart even more than her blood was about to, and he'd carry this feeling from it even after the nourishment had worn off. "Thank you," he said, and truly, deeply meant it, as he leaned in.