Tell the truth, despite the excitement of the day, Essek wasn't even that tired yet. Perhaps it was just restlessness, but he didn't feel at all ready to just drop into his trance.
He would feel much better, he told himself, after he'd been in contact with Caleb. Shortly before he had met back up with the Hells, he had received the good news that Uko'toa had been sealed back up once again. The Nein were probably currently sailing back to Nicodranas, though Caleb and Beau especially might end up teleporting off on their own, if anyone sent the request. They might have even done so already, so he should definitely find that out.
"Caleb," he started, as soon as the door was closed behind him, dropping the disguise. "We're in Zadash. Talked with Astrid. Wasn't very nice, but eventually told us what little she knows, I think. We go to Aeor tomorrow." After a moment's hesitation, he sent a second message: "The Earth Genasi has liquid dunamis poured into his head. I have told them not to tell people about it for now." He considered some of the other things he had learned that day, about the beacon in the Malleus Key and what he might now do about that, or even about Dal'eth's lieutenant being about to stop time, but perhaps not yet.
Caleb's response came back a few moments later. Glad to hear your voice, Schatz. Hope you weren't too harsh with Astrid. Please come back to me alive. Liquid dunamis in his head? Truly?
"Yes, and they may let us study it after this is over, wants answers about it himself. Are you all still at sea?"
We are. We're still waiting to hear back from the Accord, but it will be easiest to get to them if I can rest first.
He definitely sounded tired, too. "Then sleep well, my dear," Essek sent to him. "Make sure you come back to me alive, as well."
We must both do our best there. I hope to see you very soon, mein Liebling, as I always want to do. Until we can...
Essek didn't try to send any more messages, but he stayed there and just smiled for a moment, then even more so as he drifted further into the room.
After a quiet word with a member of the Lodge's staff whom Beau trusted, they had removed the bed, and replaced it with a very large armchair, suitable for either trancing or generally relaxing in. Essek wouldn't have minded the bed; he was used to resting in one now. But he was grateful to settle into the chair, tuck his pack in next to him, and pull out the book he had in it. He almost always carried one with him if he was at all able, and Beau had gotten him a lot of reading from the Cobalt archives.
His current one was on the general history of the Apogee Solstice, written about five years or so after the last one back in the 6th century. He'd begun it before the trouble related to this one had really started, and been nearly done when the Solstice had happened, but since then, he'd found himself not having much time for reading, and not really inclined to read about the Solstice even when he did. Finally being able to do something about the main problem got him through another chapter that night, but the one after that dealt largely with the ruin of Molaesmyr, and that got him to put the book back down.
Still not feeling quite settled enough to easily trance, Essek let his thoughts drift to Caleb. He was almost certainly asleep by now, and it soothed him to think of him, tucked up in a hammock, his chest rising and falling slowly, along with his back. Sometimes, when he was having a rougher night, Essek liked to just press himself in that back and breathe in the scent of his skin. Oh, did he wish he was with him now.
He imagined their reunion, how good it would be just to hold him again. He could spend quite some time contemplating what he would say when they were able to talk properly, about recent events, about their current situations, and also about Greymoore, the ideas he might have when Essek could tell him more about them, or when he got a good look at him.
Eventually he found his mind moving from those more intellectual matters to more indulgent ones. He thought about Caleb's laugh, how he wanted to hear it again. The words he would whisper about how much he missed him, which Essek would do his best to return, and that was easier for him than it had used to be. And then, of course, what would happen when they were alone with time enough for it, how Caleb would embrace him then, how he would press kiss after passionate kiss to his mouth, how his hands would be all over him, large and hot and hungry.
And it wasn't long, after he first started thinking about that, before Essek found himself reaching about and unfastening his robes enough to draw his cock out. He had experience enough at this to know it should at least leave him able to trance.
He supposed it said something that he could now wrap a hand around and start stroking without even looking down. There had been a time when he'd spent years never feeling any inclination to do this sort of thing. Now, he did it regularly when he was away from Caleb, driven by thoughts such as these.
There were plenty of thoughts. He thought about Caleb pressing him into the nearest flat surface and moving against him, still covered erections sliding eagerly against each other. He thought about getting Caleb's cock into his mouth; how he'd choked on that damn organ out of his desire for all of it. Caleb didn't have that problem, of course, and his mouth always felt scorching on Essek's body, all over it; he thought about the things he could do to his nipples with his teeth that drove Essek crazy. He thought about the moans that came out of Caleb when Essek fucked him, the way he panted when he fucked Essek, and that whimpering sound that he so often made when he was on the edge.
It was still a little shocking, how much even thinking about all of it got to Essek. Though somewhere in there, he had reached a point where he actively wanted to feel this way. Where even the terrible ache of his desire going unfulfilled that night was welcome, if only for the promise of later delights it brought.
He thought about being bare before Caleb, letting those eyes roam all over him with that anticipation and want. He thought about his arms covered in sweat, the hair on his chest glistening. He thought about watching his breath catch as Essek spread his legs before him, eager to grant him that liberty he had never even permitted any of his few partners before him.
He thought about how Caleb's body would move above him, the thrust of his hips as he filled him, and Essek came then, gasping and whining in pleasure, as he thought about Caleb doing the same.
The act had done its job; he now at last was relaxed and also physically tired enough. He stayed full conscious just long enough to prestidigitate himself clean and pull his robes back closed, then sunk gratefully in.
He wasn't even sure exactly how long he remained tranced. He came out of it sometime before sunrise, rested as much as he'd needed to, at least, but with that now familiar feeling that he might have still liked an hour or so longer. It was the quietest it had been around him for a while. He felt all alone, then.
Once, he would have preferred that. But that, too, had changed about him. In that moment, at the beginning of a day that could be his last even more so than usual, not knowing where any of his friends were in that exact moment, fear and loneliness threatened to take him, along with guilt now grown even worse. He even thought enviously of his new charges, no doubt sleeping soundly in each other's company the same way the Nein so often had.
He was still sitting there, trying to get a hold of himself, doing the breathing exercises that had helped Caleb so much, when a very familiar voice sounded in his head, Hey, Essek, it's Jester! Fjord and I are ready to set a date. When are you free? You have to be there. Miss you lots!
And once again Essek was left to smile, and feel much better. It was possible Jester had slept already, if maybe the battle had drained her enough that she'd gone to bed early, but it was equally possible she'd stayed up late with her new fiancee, and she might have even used her last spell available to message him-or just her last after she messaged people like her mother and Veth, he supposed, but still, he'd been important enough to be messaged now, one way or the other.
"Hello, Jester," he replied to her. "Don't know my schedule right now, but any day at least a couple weeks away, I will be there if at all possible."
And he absolutely would be. They all would, and the Exandria Accord and the Ruby Vanguard and everyone else would just have to deal with that. Jester deserved to have her joy in this dark time, and so did the rest of them, really. Maybe Caleb's feelings would be just a little complicated, but with Essek by his side, he would ultimately be happy.
He didn't hear from Jester again, which made him think maybe she had stayed up late, and that really had been her last spell. Unless she was messaging a whole bunch of people, which was always very possible.
The first light of day found Essek Theylss preparing to head back out, and as he disguised himself as Seth Domade again, a keen observer might have noticed a lighter look in the eyes of drow and human appearance alike than had been there the previous evening.