Instead, when he crawls under the covers, pulling them close against the night's chill, memories flood his head. Not the bad ones, this time, of the final hour or so he spent in here before they dragged him down to the dungeons, though he's certainly been visited by those more than once in the past days.
Nor is it the first time he's revisited the memory that comes to mind now-that evening, about a month before the Briarwoods had come, when he came back to his room to find Flora, one of the younger maids at only a year or so older than him, inexplicably doing cleaning that should've been done earlier in the day-that ultimately hadn't gotten finished, either. It was only years later he'd realized one of his brothers-Julius, probably-must have requested she show up there that night to deflower him, maybe even paid her to do it. Though he still believes she genuinely enjoyed it, and when he approached her a couple of weeks later, hoping it would happen again, she seemed uncertain, but not discouraging.
They hadn't gotten the chance, though, before she was run through by Stonefell right in front of him. Though at least that was early enough in the night that they hadn't done anything else to her first.
That had been his one experience with sex for nearly three years, and there hasn't been much in the last two years, either. Nor has Percy felt the lack. Until now.
He first realized just how much Orthax had fucked with him three days after getting rid of him, when he had a busy enough day he missed both lunch and dinner, and found himself, late in the evening, suffering a sensation in his stomach it took him too long to identify as hunger pangs. Which was when it hit him he couldn't remember experiencing them since that first dream of Orthax either-and when there had been days Vox Machina had been low in rations and Grog had been practically whimpering to Pike about how hungry he was. He's sleeping easier now, too, and though he had experienced exhaustion under the demon's influence, he thinks now he should've experienced it more often.
Maybe some of his general emotions have also been a bit stronger than they've been. But when his anger and pain and hate have been just fine and strong these past five years, it's a little hard to be sure.
Coming back here, Percy thinks, probably would've made him feel like he was seventeen again even without all this. But now, as well as being back in the home and the high-ranked position he grew up in, he is feeling a little invigorated, a little overwhelmed, a little confused, a little lonely despite everyone around him, and more than a little horny as all the Hells.
Just now, for instance, even thinking briefly of how Flora had once climbed on top of him on the bed here, her dark hair just brushing his cheeks as she grinned down at him, is enough to get Percy erect. And the thought, a moment later, of another face, bearing a similar bold grin, is enough to get him hard.
He's never been immune to Vex's charms. By the time he'd known her a week, he liked her the most of everyone he knew at the time. And part of him was already intrigued, wanting to see inside this fierce, flirtatious, covetous half-elf who seemed to have more sense than any of their other friends, and know what made her tick. More lustful thoughts didn't take long to start showing up either, though they were mostly idle fancies that were easy enough to dismiss from his mind-either within a moment or so, or after he'd come, if they were those kind of fancies.
He hasn't seen as much of Vex as the larger part of him would've liked, this past week and a half. A smaller part of him is, in fact, relieved about that, because there have been a couple times where they've run into each other, he's caught the scent of her hair, or her sweat, or his treacherous eyes have strayed to her breasts-which he'd already taken a second glance or two at-and he's wanted her so much he's had to remind himself to breathe.
A few more thoughts of her, and Percy is unbuttoning his pajama pants and pushing the covers aside; he can at least avoid getting the latter dirty.
Lying on his back, exposed to the cold air, the fantasy that comes to him now is the on that does most often. It's much like what's actually now happened to him more than once, except that the woman one top of him, looking him up and down like she's gauging him, is Vex, with her sharp eyes and her calloused hands, and when he strokes just the tip of his finger along his cock, it's so easy to imagine it smaller and slenderer.
That won't do for long, though. As Percy wraps his hand around himself, the fantasy escalates, as he imagines Vex taking his cock in, moaning as she does. He has various different ideas of what she might sound like. Tonight, he imagines her softer than he usually has, letting out faint cries as she moves herself, gets him where she wants him inside her-Vex would take exactly what she wants, and Percy wouldn't have it any other way. She even takes his hands, guides them over those beautiful breasts-his free hand twitches at the thought of being filled with soft, warm flesh.
With his eyes closed, Percy can pretend she's leaning over him, breath hot on his face, that any moment she might cover his face with kisses. When she whispers his name, her voice is so warm, and her hands are tender on his, and she grips them tighter as she grinds down harder. Percy is pretty much fucking his hand now, trying to feel her hips moving against her, his strong thighs flexing against his sides, her inner walls tightening themselves around him as she gets close to climax.
"Vex..." He lets himself moan her name just once, spreading himself out further as if he could offer himself to her. In his head, she just gives one last moan and shudders in release, but continues moving, smile back on her face, wrapping her arms around him as she works him to his peak.
When Percy comes, it's to the thought of Vex pressing their bodies together, nuzzling against his face, still sighing her enjoyment at each thrust of his hips, her breasts so soft and lush against his chest and neck, everything hot and sweaty between them.
For the few moments that he lets himself just lay there and recover, he can't help but fantasize further. About more kisses, more cuddles, the kind he's never had in his life and would be embarrassed to admit he wants, and her pulling the covers over them, and staying with him there, allowing him to sleep warm and safe in her bosom.
After that, he forces himself up, and forces those thoughts away. After all, it's them that's the real problem.
It would be one thing if he just wanted to fuck Vex. It's not impossible she'd go for that if he asked. He even thinks that would do her more good than harm, at least as long as she could keep herself from getting too attached to him.
But that's not what he wants. In fact, he's not sure he could stand it. Not when his true desperate desire isn't for her body, but for her affection. He wants to send hours just seeing her smile. He wants light kisses and to hold her hand. He's got a ridiculous fantasy about her holding him close while he cries, making him feel wanted and cared for. Hells, ever since Keeper Yennen noted to Percy and Cassandra that it would probably be a good idea if down the line at least one of them married and produced heirs, he's been having thoughts of how suited Vex is to be a Lady de Rolo.
As if Vex didn't have far better things to do with her time, her heart, and her life than throw it all away on him.
The water Percy cleans himself with is nearly ice cold. He's glad for it.