Dylan’s love-life is one of the agency’s worst kept secrets. Everyone knows about her falling for the bad guy. Though I do remember that Chad of hers, but I got the impression he was the only one in love, and she was just enjoying being with someone she could trust not to try to kill her. Even so, I used to wonder if she should have kept him. Sure, he was a bit weird, but she didn’t seem to mind that.
Now I know better. If she had, she’d be like poor Natalie.
Natalie’s love-life is one of the agency’s best-kept secrets. Even Bosley doesn’t realize what’s really going on. Charlie might, simply because he’s showed some signs of omniscience, but he very well may not. Dylan doesn’t realize either, which is part of the problem. I only just figured it out.
To Dylan and Bosley and others, including Pete himself, it looks so perfect. Pete loves Natalie, she loves him, they both love their dog-perfect. Except she doesn’t love him. I think she was genuinely attracted to him at first, but it wore off. After so many years of working with Natalie, I can say for dead certain that she can’t love a man like that. She’s a 5 on the Kinsey scale: able to find men attractive sometimes, but in the long term, a definite lesbian.
But, poor girl, she can’t accept that. She did not have a history conductive to it. First came her family. They were the religious type. The Stonewall riots occurred when she was three, and her father, a preacher, was the type that needed an issue to rail against. The Religious Right was beginning to form, and with them Mr. Cook found his issue. Natalie endured ten years of listening to him daily talk about how wicked gays and lesbians were, while she found herself falling for other women. Naturally she went into denial.
Mr. Cook never realized what he was doing to his daughter. Her lack of boyfriends he merely saw as her being a good Christian woman. In fact, she apparently earned his respect well enough that there were no complications when she flew the coop, or if there were, then she’s been very good at lying through her teeth about it. Of course, he hasn’t the slightest idea what his daughter now does for a living. He may wonder why she seldom writes, calls, or visits, but he’s certainly never going to know.
Then came Madison. Since I joined the Angels as her replacement, I know a lot of what of what went on in her final years, especially as the third angel at the time was rather gossipy. This angel described Madison and Natalie as “close.” Natalie constantly reminisced about her, and was openly shaken about her walk-out, which wasn’t pretty. Still, it was only recently when I became sure of my suspicions that Madison and Natalie had been lovers.
What a task Madison must have had. To convince Natalie that she was a lesbian, and that there was nothing wrong with it, and that they could be in love and it be no sin. But she was the wrong person to do it. After the events that caused her to walk out, it would have been very easy to Natalie to become convinced that she was a liar, and to ever after seek penance for she saw as unforgivable sins.
And now it’s years later, and Dylan’s in love with her.
Dylan’s bi. She’s a 3 on the Kinsey scale if I ever saw one. And she’s had passing fancies for plenty of bad guys, combined with long-standing feelings for Natalie, that have definitely not made her a happy person in matters of the heart.
She's resigned herself to her love being unrequited, but I think Natalie does return her feelings. But Dylan isn’t the best person for this, because of her habit of falling for the bad guy. Natalie already thinks she’s got bad tendencies. It’s completely irrational, but she must think that Dylan’s love automatically makes her evil. Because everybody knows about Dylan, even if we never speak of it for Natalie’s sake. I came close when we were watching Natalie and Madison on the beach, but in the end I chickened out, and only left Dylan terrified that she was going to lose Natalie for good. We all make mistakes, but that was a very bad one. Madison proving as bad as she did didn’t help matters. Natalie’s old beliefs are no doubt confirmed in her mind.
So now Natalie is clinging to her boytoy in terror, Dylan’s heart is slowly breaking, and I don’t know what to do.
I want Dylan and Natalie to get together. They’d be so wonderful for each other. Bosley would disagree; he’d think it’d interfere with missions, but all three of us are already close enough that it wouldn’t make that much difference. We’ve never been willing to sacrifice each other for the sake of the mission, and anyway since good angels are hard to find, it’s never been the policy of the Townsend Agency that we should do that, either formally or informally.
Meanwhile, having a committed relationship with someone she loves who isn’t a bad guy could make so much difference for Dylan. Bad guys would still catch her eye, but she’d remind herself she’s got Natalie, and that would be that. Sure, she might still be a bit of a flirt, but it’d never be serious. And Natalie could finally accept herself for what she is, and be able to love and be loved without guilt. She’d love Dylan, Dylan would love her, and if they got a dog they damn well would love it. Absolutely perfect.
The thing is, I don’t think Natalie and Pete will last. When it comes down to it, Pete’s a family guy. He would want to marry Natalie and raise 2.5 kids. But they’d have to do it soon. Natalie’s biological clock is ticking away; she’ll be forty soon. But an angel has to leave when she gets pregnant. One of the reasons I initially told Jason I was a bikini waxer was so he’d understand from the get-go that children were out. Fortunately he’s not the type that wants children either. And Natalie is not ready to leave the Angels. I think now I was an idiot for ever supposing she would be. She’s going to stay with us until she gets too old to. At which point her biological clock will have run out. So no children for her, unless she adopts at some point.
And when Pete realizes this, he won’t want to stay with Natalie. Oh, he might tell himself he still loves her, but it’d eat away at him. And if Natalie realized, even only temporarily, that she didn’t love him, and that she never could love him, she’d probably encourage him to leave her.
But after that, she’d just find some other boytoy. Unless a miracle happened.
I’m just an angel, not a miracle-worker. But I’ve got to think of something to do. I’m the only one who knows what needs to be done. There’s the potential for so much happiness staring both Dylan and Natalie in the face. But what would it take to get them to see it?