Austenkin/TITLE> </HEAD> <BODY BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF"> <h2>A New Kind of Mid-Life Crisis</h2> <h3>By Izzy</h3> <h4>Part 9: Standing by the Boards <p>Novice Pairs Practice, Wednesday Afternoon</h4> This was the first time Diamond had been limited to coaching from the rink’s boards. He’d never coached in that manner before, and now he wished he’d practiced it once or twice, since he’d known he’d have to do it at competitions such as this one. This was the first of only two practices Faye and Ken had before their short, and if they skated badly in this first segment it could end their hopes of making it to Nationals, and he was struggling to deal with their continually ending up on the far side of the rink from him. He wondered how anyone could expect his eyesight to be up to this task. <p>“You’re making it harder than it is,” Betsy whispered to him. “Just coach them as you usually would.” <p>Easy for her say; she hadn’t been helping at all. She was used to doing this; in fact, she preferred doing this, yet for the past hour she’d only stood there; she’d barely said a word. This was starting to turn into a source for anger for Diamond, but he didn’t think he’d ever dare let her know that. <p>She was silent, and clearly was going to remain so, even as Faye and Ken skated over. “How was that?” Ken asked, anxiously. <p>“Good,” said Diamond, because it had looked that way, at least from the boards. “But do it again, and this time add the death spiral.” <p>At least, he thought, they weren’t going for the higher levels of difficulty. If they had, he thought he really would have had to look closely to make sure they were doing everything just right. But none of the Novice Pairs here in Sheffield were trying anything at the level he and Sheila worked for. It seemed amazing to him, now, that both Mr. Pamchenko and Mrs. Mosley seemed almost more comfortable by the boards, and that Mrs. Weller certainly did. <p>He ran them through the elements again before a long-awaited announcement came over the loudspeaker: “Now playing music for Faye Atwood and Ken Davis.” They were given about a minute to skate into their opening poses, and then the music began. <p>Their short was to the famed <a href="http://www.imeem.com/people/mM1uAU1/music/YPP5o17H/evgeny_doga_my_sweet_and_tender_beast/">Sentimental Waltz</a>, which on top of all the technical elements, needed to have a gothic feel about it to really make the program complete, and as Diamond watched them start it he suddenly saw a new problem. It opened with Faye pulling herself up, then turning around and beholding a menacing Ken, and instead of gothic, it looked robotic. In their anxiety they were completely forgetting to sell the program. <p>There were some other problems too. Faye fell once and they didn’t hold the lift long enough. In the end, when Ken turned away and into himself, and Faye looked around in confusion, for the idea of the choreography was in fact that she had dreamed his existence, Diamond knew he would have to point both those things out. <p>“Remember,” he said to Faye, “A little fear, more excitement, and you’re dancing with him. We’re going to do the lift again, then continue until the end.” <p>The transitions were pretty simple ones, so that Faye and Ken could focus on their elements, but Diamond thought they made them a little better this time. But still not nearly the level he would like to see, and as they were now, they were likely to regress during the competition itself. Something to work on during the second practice tomorrow morning, perhaps? He tried to remember what Betsy had done with him and Diana when they’d been at Faye and Ken’s level. <p>Several times towards the end of the practice he looked impatiently at Betsy, but each time she shook her head. Finally she said, “You must do this yourself.” <p><i>Then why are you here?</i> The question was trapped on his tongue, though he could not bring himself to utter it. Now might not have been the time, anyway. <p>When the practice finished up, the skaters filtered off the ice, and Diamond could not escape how young Faye and Ken looked next to the others; they were definitely the youngest in the competition. Faye was smiling; Ken looked exhausted. <p>“Both of you be sure to get a good dinner tonight,” said Diamond, “and don’t stay up to late.” They nodded, but Diamond noticed Ken rolling his eyes when he thought Diamond couldn’t see. “In all seriousness, it could make the difference,” he tried adding. Ken’s expression remained unchanged. <p>Again he looked impatiently at Betsy for help, but she suddenly didn’t seem to be paying attention to any of them at all, but was looking towards the wall as if she wanted to see through it. Alarmed, Diamond hastily waved Faye and Ken off, and waited until they were out of hearing range to whisper, “Betsy?” <p>“Oh!” she nearly jumped. “Sorry,” she said. “I was trying to see if there was anything suspicious in the area. Nothing yet, thankfully.” <h4>That Evening</h4> “You should have called her on it,” George was saying through the phone. “If she does that tomorrow, you should.” <p>“But to some extent I see her point,” said Diamond. “She wants me to be able to stand on my own. At least she’s there if Faye and Ken truly need her.” He was seated on the bed in his hotel room, and between this phone conversation and the one he’d just had with Sheila he was feeling surprisingly tired. “Would you have been able to call her on it?” <p>“Diamond,” said George, “when the two of you are standing by the boards together, she’s not your coach anymore. You shouldn’t think of her in that capacity.” <p>“Oh, but in a way she is,” sighed Diamond. “I think I need a coach for coaching.” <p>“But how a good a job is she doing as one?” George pointed out. <p>“Well,” said Diamond, “I think she is helping, there. She may not have said anything to Faye and Ken today, but those things she said to me did help. And there was a limit to how much she could do; remember, this was an official practice session. Not only were the other competitors and their coaches there, I’m sure at least a couple of the judges were watching, and so was Mrs. Atwood. It’s not a good idea to show too much weakness in front of her; as a mother she’s very protective of her daughter’s interests.” In fact, she reminded Diamond of his own mother, and for that reason he liked her a lot, but he was aware of the trouble she could cause him. <p>“How well attended a session was it, anyway?” George asked. “Do you expect a good audience tomorrow?” <p>“Not especially,” said Diamond. “We’ll see who turns up.” <p>“Just as well?” he heard George laugh. “Since you’re apparently having trouble seeing what your pupils were doing?” <p>“Maybe,” Diamond agreed. “Though Sheila did just point something else out to me about that, when I told her about that before calling you. She pointed out that at some point I really ought to stop hovering over Faye and Ken, and let them do their thing. Like Betsy cutting me loose today, I suppose. Ultimately, they’re going to have to do it by themselves tomorrow.” He didn’t even try to keep the fear out of his voice. <p>“So she saw nothing wrong with Betsy’s behavior?” <p>“She declined to judge her. Said I should act as I see fit.” <p>“Fair enough, I suppose.” Diamond heard the sound of the bed creaking as George stretched his body out. “What are you wearing?” <p>“What?” Diamond asked, completely confused. “Why?” <p>“Diamond,” George was laughing. “Have you never had phone sex before?” <p>Diamond sighed. “Oh, George. I really don’t think I can tonight. The past two days have left me completely wrung out.” <p>“I though you always had sex on the night before, at least when you could manage it. That was what you said, right?” <p>“That’s the night before I’m skating,” Diamond clarified. “It won’t matter too much tomorrow what state I’m in physically.” <p>“I see,” said George. “So in other words, you’ll instead want me to talk you through the fine art of phone sex the night before the short at Skate America, if I even can, since you’ll be eight hours behind me. I may be at practice, Diamond.” <p>“We’ll work it out. And right now, I do not have the energy for anything besides talk.” He yawned. “In fact, I may no longer have the energy even for that. Not that I wouldn’t mind listening to you a little more.” <p>“Go to sleep, Diamond.” <p>“Love you.” <p>“Love you too. Goodbye.” Then the dialtone. Diamond could almost see the quick nod with which George had probably turned his phone off. One of a zillion things about George that drove him crazy in the best way possible. <p>He was so tired it took a little long to get changed into his nightclothes, which he had just finished doing when his phone beeped again. Annoyed, he reached to turn it off, but his annoyance was gone when he saw Sheila had texted him. If u read this, she had written, y r u lingering over a turned on phone? Clicking the phone off, he laughed himself to sleep. <h4>Novice Pairs Short, Thursday late afternoon</h4> Faye and Ken had drawn to near the end of this phase of the competition, which only gave time for them all to become more anxious, in Diamond’s opinion. Most agreed it was in fact an advantage, that even with no limit to how high the scores could go, as there once had been in figure skating, the judges tended to give lower marks near the start of the evening. But Diamond, both as a competitor and now as a coach, found he would find it better to have the skate near the beginning in the short, and near the end in the free skate, since the free skate inevitably carried anxious waiting both before and after one’s performance anyway. <p>It looked like things were getting to Ken as well; he was looking nervous and Diamond found himself continually talking to him, trying to keep his mind from self-destructing. Faye was better; she had fallen back on her ever-reliable iPod; she had read once that listening to loud music just before an event could enhance one’s performance and seemed to believe it. After the warm-up, the three of them stood with Betsy backstage, their competitors milling about, going out to skate and coming back in much more relaxed. Here, in what was known within the figure skating community as the vomitorium, Diamond no longer spoke; there was an a code of silence here. From outside the vomitoirum, other skater’s music and the sounds of the audience filled their ears, but the other sounds they drowned out were Ken’s determined breathing and the faint stream of music coming from Faye’s earbuds. <p>A little bit into the performance of the couple performing right before them, a volunteer came over and said, “Miss Atwood, Mr. Davis? Two minutes.” Diamond thanked her for them. <p>The four of them left the vomitorium and were rinkside. Now their competitors were visible, and Ken turned to look at them. “Don’t,” said Diamond, gently taking his shoulder and turning him away. “It’ll only make you more nervous.” Granted, there were some skaters who liked to watch their competitors, even before they skated themselves, but they were few and far between, and it could certainly do Ken no good. Even Diamond didn’t watch now, and he knew that was something Mr. Pamchenko had often did. <p>The two skaters paced, trying to keep their energy up without expending too much of it. Diamond and Betsy watched them pace. Diamond also fought down the urge to pace along with them. He wished Sheila was there; she had always kept him steady and secure during these agonizing two minutes. <p>What seemed like an eternity later they heard the music from the previous program come to its climax. Ken reached over and plucked at one of Faye’s earbuds. She removed the other one, turned her iPod off, and handed it to Betsy. The two of them headed for the gate, which was being opened, removed their skateguards and handed them to Diamond, and skated out into the ice. <p>They didn’t have the equipment, here, to immediately calculate everyone’s scores right after they skated. Still the judges entered their marks for the previous couple while Faye and Ken warmed up on the ice, and the two of them could not skate until that work was done. It was supposed to take two minutes, but if there was a dispute on whether any of the jumps had been fully rotated prior to landing, or the level of difficulty of any of the elements, it could take longer. Diamond much preferred it when scores were announced; that gave him and Sheila about fifteen seconds heads up that they were about to announced to skate. <p>It took longer this time. Twice Faye and Ken finished warming up and skated back to Diamond to get final words of encouragement from him before skating back out, and they were just looking like they were going to return again when finally their names were announced. The audience applauded politely. <p>They looked at Diamond. He nodded. Hand in hand they went to the center of the ice, then Ken got behind Faye, who knelt, the hem of her silvery-white skirt touching the ice, head to one side like she was daydreaming. <p>When the music began, Diamond actually didn’t hear the first couple of notes over the loud thudding of his own heart. He saw as if from a silent movie Faye pull herself up and turn around to behold Ken, and him take hold of her hands and propel her forward. Too mechanical, he thought. <p>With their jump elements Diamond raised himself on his toes; he nearly kicked off the throw double lutz right along with Faye. He saw them miss the edge change on the pairs spin, saw it as sure as if he’d been standing right next to them, and cringed. To his great relief they got more into the character of the program as it went on, until by the lift Diamond raised his arms and moved his hands in the way Faye did up in the air, and she was doing it just right. <p>For a moment as she danced with her apparition he flashbacked to a house, and a man, and covered furniture, and the awareness that she was all alone with him in the house he was to inherit. He remembered the touch of his hand and the look in his eyes and the thought that there was very little she would have denied him had he asked, and the deep danger she had put herself in that day. <p>Nothing had happened that day, thankfully, and Faye was in no danger either, for after the music climaxed, Ken turned and floated away as if to vanish, leaving her alone. That was when Diamond realized that without quite noticing what he was doing he had somehow moved a full three feet along the boards. Betsy was watching him with unmistakable amusement. <p>“How much of a fool have I just made of myself?” He asked her. <p>“No more than many a coach, and even many a highly successful and lauded coach.” That was true; some of the most successful coaches had been known to very obviously skate a program from the boards right along with their students out on the ice. <p>Faye and Ken took their bows, and then they were skating to the gate, letting the couple that skated after them take the ice before getting off, and he hugged them both, and told them, “Well done.” <p>With no scores announced here to wait for, the four of them headed out into the lobby. There bulletin boards had been set up, and here the start orders and results for all events were posted. The order for the Novice Pairs was pinned to one side of the board it shared with the Junior and Senior Pairs, and other events besides. Once everyone had skated, a runner would take the judges marks up to the accounting office, where the scores would be calculated by hand, then brought here and posted. <p>“Hey,” said Faye, pointing, “that’s my friend Beth over there. You want to meet her, Ken?” Beth was not one of the pairs skaters, Diamond could tell immediately, and she wasn’t in costume; he suspected her event was later in the evening. <p>Ken shrugged. Faye tugged at his arm, and said, “Come on!” <p>“I just watched your skaters,” said another voice, and Diamond turned to face an older-looking woman who he was pretty sure wasn’t coaching anyone in the Novice Pairs event. “I was impressed. I missed the first two pairs, but I think they might be in first at the end of the night.” <p>Diamond shook his head. “The first two pairs are really good. The second are the favorites to win here. And they made some mistakes, I’m afraid.” <p>“Even so, I really enjoyed watching them the most, at least of all the pairs I saw. Good job.” <p>Diamond hadn’t watched any of the other pairs, but he knew Betsy had watched a few of them. “Did you see the first two?” he asked. <p>“I saw Haskins and Griggs. They were perfect. They’re going to be leading, no doubt about that. But second place is open.” <p>Diamond’s eyes traveled to Rose Haskins and Bart Griggs. They were oldest of the pairs there, and would probably be the favorite for the title at Nationals as well as here. She was clustered near the board with two other girls from the competition, and she clearly led their conversation, while he stood by their coach, another expatriate American, and kept looking towards back towards the rink where the last pair was still skating. When they heard the music stop Diamond saw him smile. <p>Then Faye’s friend Beth dragged Faye up to Griggs; she was clearly a bolder girl than Faye. Faye didn’t look too comfortable, but Griggs looked willing enough to talk to them. Diamond hesitated on whether or not to interfere. <p>But then a voice called, “Diamond?” and Diamond, much to his dismay, found himself accosted by an old competitor of his own. “Diamond! I thought you were skipping the prelim competitions this year! Where’s Sheila?” <p>“I’m here as a coach,” said Diamond cooly. This was Kip Weber, whom along with his partner Diamond and Diana had beaten to the Junior National title in 2008, earning them their one trip to Junior Worlds before she had quit, and whom Diamond and Sheila had beaten again the following year, and then never competed against again, because they’d gone up to the senior level nationally, which Kip had never done, and by the time they’d been competing internationally he’d retired from competition. Diamond had also slept with him twice on both occasions, but had refused him the following year, when Kip’s behavior had grown so unpleasant even Diamond’s superstitious need for sex before a competitive skate hadn’t left him tempted. <p>“Oh, really?” Kip asked. “Where are your students then?” <p>Diamond pointed. “The girl in the silvery white and the young man in black.” <p>“Which young man in black? There are several of them!” <p>“Blonde one.” <p>“Oh, the kids?” His tone wasn’t very nice. “Have to start somewhere, I suppose. I’m here with this crazy ten year old with a nightmare of a mother, let me tell you...” Diamond ended up hearing his next few statements without paying actually listening; he didn’t want to hear and Ken was being flirted with by some girl he couldn’t place any kind of identity on, which might or might not be a problem; Diamond wasn’t sure. “But anyway, how is Sheila? Still in need of a sandwich?” <p>“That is not your business,” snapped Diamond, his fists flexing, than hastily unflexing. <p>“Hey, lighten up! Seriously, I watched you two at Worlds last year; can’t believe she’s still that tiny. Of course, most of the girls around here are, aren’t they?” He laughed. Diamond disliked the sound of it. <p>“So you used to always say. Excuse me.” This was downright rude, but Diamond could no longer stand it, and he went over to where Ken was talking nervously to the girl. <p>The girl turned out to be a nice girl, who for some reason seemed eager to talk more to him than to Ken once he arrived. She was definitely older than Ken, possibly even closer to his age; apparently the older sister of someone competing. Diamond politely listened to her talk about her home in Chesterfield until someone near him said, “The results are here,” as all eyes in the lobby turned to the man hastening to the boards with two sheets of paper, which Diamond knew had to be the placements and the more detailed scoring information respectively. <p>It was a good thing he was so close to the board; he was carried the rest of the way there as the throng crowded around moments after the man had taped the results up. Faye and Ken somehow ended up with him, but Betsy was too far away to try to get a good look. Diamond noticed that Mrs. Atwood had joined her. <p>“Second place!” Faye exclaimed delightedly when the finally got a proper look. Diamond’s heart leapt too, but his eyes had already traveled down to the second sheet, to their separate technical and presentation scores, and to the individual program component scores out of which the presentation score was created, then back up to see how far apart everyone’s scores were. <p>Ken had already checked on the latter. “It’s pretty close though, except for poor Annie and Fred in the back.” <p>“That’s right,” said Diamond. “But if you do well tomorrow, you’ll be well on your way.” Suddenly, he privately thought, the situation seemed only more tense, for now they had something to lose. <h4>Edinburgh, Friday afternoon</h4> With Diamond gone Sheila practiced solo, and Mrs. Mosley was having her run through large part of their long program; she was determined to start proper run-throughs of it once Diamond returned. It was kind of strange to do that to Natalia and Sergei’s long program music, but that was what she was doing. <p>“Another lutz,” said Mrs. Mosley. “Triple this time; land it solo and it’ll be easier to land as a throw.” <p>Sheila went for it. And fell. Yet Mrs. Mosley smiled. “Textbook takeoff, at least. If not landing.” <p>She said this loudly enough for Natalia and Sergei to hear her as they passed. Being in the middle of a run-through they couldn’t afford to react, but Sheila cast them an apologetic glance anyway. <p>They went through several more, and she did manage to avoid falling on two of them, though she stepped out of both. She’d never in her life had a consistent triple lutz, and having to rework her technique half-way through her career hadn’t helped. <p>Towards the end of practice she grew aware that according to what Diamond had said the previous night, Faye and Ken would be finished their long program about the time she got off the ice. She did her best to not let it distract her, but she was attached to the young pair herself, and she was even more anxious for what their success or failure might mean for Diamond. At the end of their session, she bowed to her coach, stepped off the ice, put on her skate guards, and pulled out her phone, trying to decide whether to call immediately or wait. <p>“Wait on it,” Mrs. Mosley advised her. “These things always take longer than expected. It may very well be another fifteen minutes, if not more, before they have a finished skate.” <p>“Diamond’s students, you mean?” Sergei had arrived at the barrier, and at his voice Sheila’s heart hammered. <p>“Yes, yes,” said Sheila. “After doing so well I think Diamond’s managed to work himself up. I hope they skate well.” <p>Now she was all tense, and remained so all through changing into street clothes. In the arena lobby she found Natalia and Sergei talking, but then they stopped and turned towards her. “Would you try calling him?” Sergei asked. <p>They were concerned too. That was a little surprising, but maybe not very, Sheila thought. Her spirits raised, she turned the phone on and called. <p>Then she heard Diamond’s voice on the other side, very dull and heavy, “Sheila?” and her heart sunk. <p>“They didn’t do well, did they?” <p>“Three falls. And I’m pretty sure their jump sequence will be downgraded, if not their other jumps.” <p>“How are they?” <p>“How do you expect?” He sounded like he was going to cry. <p>“Well, it is their first year on the Novice level,” she reminded him. “They’ll do better next year, I’m sure. Besides, they might make it to Nationals anyway.” <p>“I don’t know,” said Diamond, but she heard the hope creep back into his voice. <p>There was music playing in the background; there were two more pairs after Faye and Ken. “Why don’t you go watch the rest of the competition? Who knows, that might make you feel more confident.” <p>“Thanks, Sheila, I’ll try. Bye.” <p>“Bye,” she said, and turned the phone off. Natalia and Sergei were both looking very sympathetic. <p>“Be kind to him when he gets back?” she asked them anxiously. <p>“Of course,” said Sergei, and he reminded her of Edward so much then it hurt. <h4>Shortly afterwards, Sheffield</h4> Faye and Ken were much less animated now. Mrs. Atwood, on the other hand, was pacing the lobby, back and forth. “But falls are common, right?” she’d asked Diamond and Betsy, who had to concede that they were. In fact, Diamond thought, it probably wouldn’t be the falls that cost Faye and Ken a trip to Nationals; it would probably be the underrotated jumps. Jumps that weren’t fully rotated carried hardly any point value once the scoring procedures were done with them. <p>Still, most of the skaters looked a little dispirited. Only Haskins and Griggs didn’t look down, and the mood was getting to them. Certainly the last two pairs hadn’t been very good, but Diamond had been too depressed to pay very close attention to them. Even if Faye and Ken made Nationals, this wasn’t the way they had wanted things to go at all. All they could hope for now was a chance to make it better before next season. <p>When the man came with the two sheets, now holding the overall results and the score details of the free skate, Faye shook her head. “I can’t go up there. I can’t look. I’m too scared.” <p>“Me neither,” said Ken, who had gone pale. <p>“I...” Mrs. Atwood started. <p>“I’ll go,” said Diamond, and hastened over. <p>The crowd around the boards had grown so thick he had to push his way close enough to see the results. He decided to wait on the details and focused his attention on the first sheet. Someone in the accounting office had helpfully drawn a line in pen to mark the cutoff for Nationals, and he eyeballed the names right above it-and a large part of his sadness evaporated; he turned and ran back, calling, “You made it!” <p>The mood whiplash carried; four faces in front of him broke into delighted relief. “We made it?!” Faye squealed. <p>“You fell to the last spot, but you got that. You’re going to Nationals!” <p>“Oh, wow, let me see!” Faye ran eagerly towards the board, shoving her way through the throng of alternatively relieved and disappointed skaters, coaches, parents and others associated with them. Her mother hurried after her. <p>Ken on the other hand, hugged Diamond hard. “Oh, thank you, sir! Thank you a million times!” Then he too ran for the board. <p>Diamond was left with Betsy, who smiled at them, then at him, and said simply, “Well done, Mr. MacAddie. Well done.” <hr> <a href="ankomlc10.htm">To Be Continued...</a>