The Seven of Nine Rhapsody
By Izzy
To the tune of "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen

It's "The Killing Game," between scene two and scene three, in the restaurant. Seven is in full singing gear, complete with silver evening gown, hair let down, etc. She's singing some tune or other when suddenly she cringes in pain. From the way she looks around we can tell she's not sure where she is. A Hirogen runs in and reports several things malfunctioned, including several neural interfaces and the time-frame protocols. Seven now has memories of both herself and her character, and quickly figures out what's going on.

Piano Player:
And now, Madamoiselle de Nuef will sing us a bohemian rhapsody.

Seven looks at him, but has no choice but to sing, so she starts singing...

Is this the real thing,
Is this a hologram?
Trapped on the holodeck,
Ship is held by Hirogen
Interface blank
So I could look up and see
I'm Seven of Nine, I need some sympathy
Because my neurons come, neurons go,
Little fast, little slow,
Anywhere Voyager goes, does it really matter to me, to me?

One of the Hirogen hurries up to Seven and points his gun at her, saying "Freeze!" She responds by taking the gun and shooting him. The gunshot attracts the attention of the leader Hirogen, who runs in. Seven turns to him and sings:

Commandant, just killed your man
Put his own gun to his head
Pulled the trigger, now he's dead
Commandant, Janeway will hate me now
I've gone and thrown both people all away

(turns to Janeway)
Captain, ooo ooo
Didn't meant to make you sigh
If I'm shot dead by them this time tommorrow
Carry on, carry on, because I don't really matter

The Hirogen then crowd around Seven, lead by Turanjj, who sings:

Borg, your time has come

It sends shivers down my spine
My neurons firing several times
Goodbye, Captain Janeway , you've got to know
They'll be kill me before I can explain the truth
Captian, ooo ooo

I might as well just die

I'm not sure if I should ever have been born at all...

Hirogon leader:
No, don't shoot her. That's cheating. And everyone take those helmets off and put on these top hats, so we can play along properly.

He gives each of them a top hat from somewhere. They don them in confusion. Turanjj feels he must protest:

But I see a neural interface disabled

It's the Borg! It's the Borg! Make her do the fandango?

Seven responds by putting her fists into action

Seven's fists are flying, very very frightening to me!

(punching)THE HIROGEN!

The Hirogen!

The Hirogen!

Hirogen Leader:
The Hirogen!

The Hirogen!

The Hirogen? What are those?


I just don't know!

I'm just an ex-Borg, nobody loves me!

(Dance behind her tipping their top hats) She's just an ex-Borg from an ex-family !
Defied her captian two episodes ago!

Easy come, easy go,
(Borg tone, even though she's still singing)You will let us go.

Bismilla! NO! We will not let you! We will not let you go!
Bismilla! We will not let you go! (Let us go!)
Bismilla! We will not let you go! (Let us go!)
We will not let you go! (Let us go!)
We will not let you go! (Let us go!)

Seven:(Turns to Janeway)
Oh Captain Janeway, Captain Janeway-

Hirogen:(Suddenly wearing their Nazi helmets again)
That's not really her, you know!

What have done to her? What have you done to me, to me, to ME!!

The Hirogen tackle Seven, and we hear a click.

Her interface is reactivated and should turn back on in a minute or so.

Seven turns angrily to them:

So you think you can make me see things through a hologram's eyes?
So you think you can program me to go and die?
Oh Hirogen, you can't do this to us Hirogen!
Somehow we're going to win, and you're going to get right out of here!

She turns to Janeway for one final appeal as she feels the interface start to take effect:

Captain, this does matter,
Maybe you can't see,
But this does really matter,
This does really matter,
To me....
Anywhere Voyager goes...

(Softly)Anywhere Voyager goes...

Seven cringes again. Janeway walks up to her and compliments her on her little song she made up. Seven just looks at her in confusion.