On Costs and Cruelties
By Izzy

Vex isn't even sure how long she stands there. At one point, her finger wanders up and traces her lips, the lips Percy just kissed. A single act, accompanied by some objectively frustrating words, and her understanding of Percy, his actions, and the reasons behind them have changed completely.

Everything he'd made for her and done for her, some so easily explained as the acts of an ally, a brother in arms. The rest of it, all of which, she's told herself, could still just be him being a friend. Maybe some of it still was, she supposes, but now she thinks the rest of it he's done for the same reason she's behaved as she has towards him.

Always a cost or a cruelty. The old words ring in her head, a warning her mind will never not give her.

But Percy isn't like most rich men in the first place, she reminds herself. It's not at all a nice thing to think, but what happened to him at the hands of the Briarwoods and their ilk may have saved him from that fate. Thanks to them, he's known loss, and pain, and deprivation, and he's known what it is to fight for his own survival. There may be some assholes with money who went through some or all of that and still turned out to be the usual kind of bad, but Vex doesn't think Percy's one of them. Hells, if he ever does join his sister in helping with the running of Whitestone, his people will hopefully fare better from his having been in their shoes.

This offer's kind of a new one for her, too. There have been very few offers Vex has received involving any relationships lasting longer than a few nights, certainly none from anyone with much money, or any she's had any interest in taking. With the rich men, sex was more likely to be a cost, and too often wouldn't be the kind she'd at all enjoy either.

There's never been any rich man she's wanted either thing from, either. There'd been one of their wives once, wrong and downtrodden, whom she'd spent a splendid two nights with, and she might have liked more with her, but that still would've been limited commitment, and anyway the woman had been too scared to allow her any more.

And that had all been for good reason. Relationships with any sort of people have costs. For most of their lives, neither she nor Vax have been willing to pay those long-term. They spent so long not at home anywhere, not willing to put anyone before each other, never finding anyone to keep with them besides Trinket. Even when they became part of a bigger group, it took them a long time to believe it would last, to admit they cared for their new friends as much as they've now come to.

Not to mention Percy actually would come with costs many a lover wouldn't. Vex has seen the whole thing with Orthax, and she knows more figurative demons still plague him. Anyone who gets involved with him would, inevitably, have to at least partly face those with him, no matter how much he tried to spare them that.

The thing is, Vex very much *wants* to do that. She wants to help Percy, to help him fight, at least as much as someone else can help someone in that struggle. She likes to think, in fact, that she's been a help to him already, including with what she's said to him just now. All of this has been true before already, but knowing how far things are looking likely to go, she wants to even more.

There are Percy's less savory traits to think of as well. He still has much of the rich man's arrogance, is not free from his occasional obliviousness. Which she does even find endearing on occasion, but she's aware that were she to get involved with him, even if she could maybe then avert some of the worst of it, the countless times it's driven her crazy will probably still get worse.

And then there are his cruelties. Vex knows those too, has witnessed them. Mostly aimed at those who deserved it, yes, and never aimed at her. When she's feeling optimistic, she can hope they never will be. But she knows well that those who get too close to each other have too much ability to hurt each other, and will at least a little, even when they don't want to, and it's impossible to be completely sure the worst would never happen.

Percy's not a typical rich asshole, no. He'd be much less of a danger to her if he were.

And yet, she can't help but think of the gifts he gave her the night before and that day in Syngorn; he still might never know how much that meant to her. Everything he's created for her, asking only that she do her part in their battles together, if even that. That just his smile makes her feel too happy inside. He seems to smile around her a lot, too. How good kissing him felt, better than kissing ever has, maybe.

As she finally starts to walk back to the others, Vex also things about everything else she wants with Percy. Everything from the purest of heart to heart conversations (much as those still scare her) to the filthiest of sexual acts. The idea that she could have all of it makes her want to just leap first and look later.

When she gets back to them, Vax and Scanlan have at least put everything back into their pants. They have managed to get a hold of Percy, and are now showing him the creations in the snow Vex is honestly going to try not to look at too much. He is looking at them, making some possibly sarky comments, from the reactions of the other two, though she can't quite catch their words. He also takes a moment to glance over at where Keyleth is casting away, fondness and maybe a little concern flickering across his face as he does so.

Costs she can pay. Cruelties she can risk. Percy is worth it.